Thursday, July 27, 2006


So I'm back.

Would've posted yesterday - but there was a "blogger" issue.

Here is the latest:

Interview went great. Company is still defining exactly what they need. Not exactly sure at this moment.
Unless they are telling me that because I am exactly what they don't need.
And that could be true - although I don't necessarily think that is the case.
I think.

So who knows.

Of much more interest to you is this:

I have to drive Bill to get his car yesterday - and I drop him off. The orphan and I are stuck in tunnel traffic - and guess who calls back.

STAR1's agent.

He just got back from NY meeting with the kid - and the kid wants to do the movie. Even gives me a start date. Tells me that their agency - which is known for packaging all sorts of projects now - wants to raise a lot of the money. That they want to take the film out. STAR1 is about to jump into another $100m film - and wants this to be his next one.

I say - well....I have walked this road with him before - for two years. Not sure how I feel about his promises again. He said I could have it on paper as soon as the money was there.


Told him I'd call him back.

My agents - who have been director shopping - think it's nonsense. They want to attach a guy from our agency who is a great editor - and a decent director. He is just finishing a sequel to a movie that opened great - but sucked. His movie is supposed to be good.

I watched this guy's first film. While the movie was not good - it was very well directed. And he has edited some great films. So he is probably pretty cool.

Another director who is better known really liked the script - but hasn't decided if he wants this to be his next film or not.

So it keeps spinning.

3 calls yesterday.

15 minutes with STAR1's agent.
40 minutes with my agents.
30 minutes with the manager.


All I needed was the potential for work - and there goes the movie again.

Somewhere - God is laughing.

And all I wanted was a piece of cheese.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Accidentally on Purpose

Very very strange day.

Got in yesterday - what a typical nightmare - other than the fact that our flight was delayed in Detroit for an hour - and then a woman two rows behind me had a heart attack midflight - I did arrive here in one piece.

Headache really bad all day - and it continues this morning.

My interview is in three hours.

I'm taking a cab over - but first I have to iron my clothes.

Let me make an interesting point.

I don't own clothes that need ironing.

Well - I do, but I don't ever wear them. So this morning I will iron. Hopefully I won't be burning...

So while on one hand - I am excited about a job that doesn't involve being Bill's whipping boy - it is a bittersweet day as well.

Saw online today that STAR2 is doing another big film - and the weird thing is that STAR1 - the kid that upended my film - might be joining him as the lead.

Funnier yet - in the interview - STAR2 brought up my film - saying it is "dead in the water."



I wish I could say I didn't see the horse - but I hit it just the same...

Time to burn....

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I left my heart


I am off to the airport to leave for the West Coast.

Reading "The Man who Heard Voices" today - about M. Night. Can't wait.

Hope the voice I hear is - we want to pay you large sums of money... :)

Holla Back!

Saturday, July 22, 2006


Sometimes, when a man is grown, when he is all alone -

he will wear stretchy pants.

Don't know what you thought of this. Don't really care.

To me - its the funniest movie I saw since 40 year old virgin. And I got to watch it with my kids - who kept trying to tell me to stop laughing so loud.

It was nice.

Only problem was it was at a cinema cafe.

If you know me - going to the movies is like going to church. It is a place of worship. I don't want some greasy haired kid asking for my order when the movie is going on.

Inevitably - they stand in front of you at all the best parts of the film. Talking to those around you - delivering food.

But bleah.

The movie was so fun - it didn't even bother me.

Not even after a long day of tearing down the palace set. Of listening to Bill get grumpy. Of having to buy clothes for my interview - since all my wardrobe is back home and everything I have here is covered in paint.

This is a good film. A fun film.

Tomorrow I fly to San Francisco.
I'll be sure to wear some flowers in my hair....

Wish me luck?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Yesterday - all my troubles are still here today

There is probably no better feeling in the world than when someone comes up to me on the shoot as I am painting something - or carrying something - or sweeping up after people - and they decide this is the perfect time to ask me:

Hey. Aren't you supposed to be shooting a feature now? What happened with that?

I like to think that I don't have much of an ego or pride - but I must have a little - cause it still hurts like a paper cut to the tongue.

Most of the guys on the crew are ones that I have hired over the years to work for me.

Now - I work for them. Perfect proof that God has a sense of humor. Others might say he has a perfect sense of justice...

In the mean time - no news on the script. Still waiting on the big director.

But I did get to enjoy the suckerpunch deluxe of telling my dad - who blew out his knee the day before I left to come to this job - who moved to this small town in Indiana to be near his kids and grandkids - who has spent the last 60 days learning to walk again - who is very excited that this job is coming to a close -

I got to tell him that we might be packing up and moving to California.

I can see his face trying to stretch into a very painful smile - as he stumbles to the ground in shock.

On the funny tip -

While breaking down flats yesterday - one of the kids - Joel, 16 - was trying to screw stuff in while I held it together. He stripped three screws and kept blaming the screws.

I asked him:
Who taught you how to screw boy?

Joel: (under his breath)
You're momma....

I start laughing... Hard enough to almost drop the 10 foot flats...

What did you say?

I think you heard me just fine...

And that, my friends, is the clarion call to move on....

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

When it rains...

Not really sure what this is all about.

But here it is.

My phone interview went good yesterday. Real good. Maybe even too good.

There was the lady I knew I'd be talking with - along with two people from the client's company.

They were really cool - asked me a couple questions - we talked -

And 22 minutes flew by.

Now they want me to fly to San Francisco this weekend to meet the boss on Monday.

Go figure.

And this morning I wake up and there is a lady from Shanghai that wants me to come over and shoot a reality show there.


Don't know if I can stand to leave the art department or not.

Guess I'll ask the Bull Gods...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Can't you do it for the babies?

This is not what I meant by finding new ways to solve the illegal alien problem, Blair.

So it is busy out there.

David is busy shooting his first feature.

Blair is shooting his new show - and starring in it as well. Here's hoping that saves his job...

Ryan is hard at work cranking out more scripts...

And all I do is paint golden idols...


I have a job interview today. On the phone.

Another Writer/Producer position.

But this one is big. And requires a lot. So we shall see.

So if you feel so inclined - send up a little prayer.

And if not - kill a baby Mexican and spread the blood on the throne of the BullGod for me...

Can't hurt...


unless you're a baby Mexican....

sigh... Nevermind....

Monday, July 17, 2006

Inopportune times


Doesn't matter how it works. Why it works. When it works.

Mostly - it just doesn't work.

I can sit down - try to plan the story, work on the story, work on the characters, think about the scenes, dream about the script - and


Not a gosh darn thing.

But then - reading something else, watching something else, showering something else - and


I can just about convince myself that I am a loser, not a writer - and that nothing I do will ever amount to a hill of crap - and then - WOW! Great idea that breaks things open.

Usually has to do with anal rape or a new way to kill someone - but hey - a man in the desert don't turn down a glass of grapefruit juice...

So - nice. One thought that opens a lot of cans and releases a lot of worms.

Now all I gots to do is tie all those worms together into a story.


Off to the shoot.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

The Horror!

Blair and I were working on a horror film.

To make a film really successful - you need to tap into your own worse fears.

To illustrate - Blair sent me this picture.

I don't get it...but maybe his website - might explain it.

To be fair - Blair doesn't hate Black people. He just lives in fear of them.
And God in his divine wisdom made it so that Blair is the only white man at his all Black company.

To counter his foolishness - I offer this:

Beware the language. And the engorged animal parts.

(Pictured here is Blair - calling for help...)

But it did make tears come out of my eyes...

Friday, July 14, 2006

All hail the BullGod

Wow. How "Lord of the Rings"-ish.

For the past two days - besides puking - I have been tending to the BullGod.

I paint it. Clip its nails. Try to make it smile. Force feed it the blood of virgins.

You know the drill. It gets old.

But I have to have him all shiny and pretty cause on Saturday - we take him to his rightful place in the temple. And the only way to do that is in a back of a pickup truck.

Because that's how the BullGod rolls...

He told me it was him that made it rain yesterday. I told him to stop bragging. No one likes a boastful deity. Besides - I explained - as a BullGod - he doesn't get to control the weather - just crops and fertility.

I knew you were gonna say that - he said.

No you didn't.

Yes I - ZAP.

And now I'm infertile. Again.

I'll try to post a picture of the grumpy BullGod making his way to the studio tomorrow.

And on a sad note - yesterday was the last day on the set of a young friend of mine named Josiah. This kid is the funniest kid I have ever met and it will be sad to see him go. But I will always have his Lord of the Rings weekly newsletter to keep me company in his stead.

He asked me the other day what my favorite thing to do was.

After a moment - I realized that my favorite thing in the whole wide world was....


And what better way to laugh than to watch this clip:

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The first step is admitting you have a problem

So this is me - yesterday.

I am not a pumpkin.

But you can imagine.

My daughter was sick on Monday night. So go figure who gets sick on Wednesday.

Not my wife who took care of her.
Not my son who was stuck in the house fighting with her all day.

Who was working all day and went in to rub her back for about 10 minutes.


I don't like to vomit. And for all those fetishists out there who do - well.

You're gross.


Here is the latest.

The set is in at the studio. It looks good. Bill is still not happy - but it looks good. I'll try to throw a couple shots up here so you can see.


Had a talk with the agents the other night.

Looks like one director loves it - and four more are still reading it.

The biggest on the list is reading it in the next two days.

The way my agents wanted to break it up was to get different directors who are liked by different studios to be attached at those places alone. But the "big" director say he will only read it if he is attached everywhere.

So we said - sure... But mean, we'll see - depending on how much he likes it and what he thinks.

So its a holding pattern until we hear back from a couple more. But there is movement. Just SLOOOOOOOOW movement.

One the exciting front - I had a really weird call about a job.
They sent my stuff off to another company saying they recommended 2 out of 70 or so people. I was one of them.

We will see if the company calls.

I have a new theory.

Fastest way to get movement on the script:

Get a job and make yourself unavailable. Then it all opens up.


I know. Almost makes you want to vomit.


Check out David's page -

He has started shooting.
Lucky Bastard! He gets to hang out in swamps all day with a crazy preacher and silly yuppies.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Indentity Crisis

It's quite strange.

In production - you have a million balls in the air at once - and every ball is important. Something as minor as cold coffee can ruin an entire day and blow hundreds of thousands of dollars.

As a Producer and Director - which is what I've been for 15 years - I am used to that kind of work.

It has been very strange to go into the film world and be seen as a writer.

Not that writers don't have any respect. Far from it. I've been surprised again and again at how I am treated and the respect I've been given.

But I have agents.
And they rep writers.
And they are used to dealing with writers.
Not producers and directors.

For the last three years - I have been on the phone or meeting with people who will advance the movie somehow for at least two to three hours a day.

In the last year - I was usually on the phone with one of the other producers or with the mini-major for at least 2-3 hours a day.

Three weeks ago - I talked with my agents about going out with the script - and there has been a lot of work going on - I just haven't been involved.

Sure - I still get the email and call every now and then - but not like when I am the producer. And that is to be expected.

But it doesn't make it any easier.

Now - more directors are getting involved - and more people are reading it, and rereading it...

And I'm here working on the art crew.

I know it sounds like whining - but the truth is - I am a good producer.
And I can be very helpful to the process.
Unfortunately - I am not part of it right now.

But. That. Will. Change. Today.

So here I come. Everyone is on call. Time to make my presence felt.

Hold on, Hollywood.

The bag is coming off....

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Food for thought

So a record breaking weekend for Pirates.

Good for them.

We contributed yesterday to their overall haul.

There is a lot to be said about the film - whether or not you liked it - whether or not there was a story - whether or not there was an ending -

But the one thing I want to focus on is this:

Out of every film I've seen this summer - this one was the most fun.

All the other films - probably with the exception of X-3 - have been by the book and executed without a sense of enjoyment.

I don't want to say that everyone needs to seem as if they are having a good time every minute of the film - but as someone in the audience I want to enjoy the film. Trust me - I'm dying to have a good time.

And Pirates provides this.

Sure there are hole. Sure there are big plot problems.

But it is fun.

Really fun.

So - whatever. I am willing to forgive a lot if it is fun. And this movie is fun.

So go see Pirates.

Enjoy yourself.
And leave your jaded asses at home.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Bootles is back

Riding the wagon in from LazyTown - Mr Bootles returns....

Met with my good friend Blair last night at Panara Bread.

Have you ever been to Panara? Really great place. They have bread, sandwiches, coffee, tea, salads - and - get this -

Free Internet Connections.

Not some stupid Starbucks pay plan through Verizon or something like that.


Panara has it open for all. And they encourage you to hang out all day. Just move to a smaller table at meal times...

Cool Cool Place.

Enough with the shilling....

So Blair and I return to our favorite haunt to try to pick up a few tattered pieces of the story we started a couple weeks ago when he showed up to help art direct for a day.

I had taken the scattered idea and put some of it to paper... Throwing a few scenes into the air and seeing where they landed.

As tradition would have it - I am willing to jump in and start coming up with scenes long before there is a story or motivations.

As tradition would have it - Blair does not like to come up with scenes before there is story or motivations.


We began the night in the traditional writers way.

We watched a show on the internet - courtesy of the orphan. Thanks Kyle.
We talked about our families.
We bitched about our jobs.
We gossiped about the people we knew.
We complained about everything.
We went to the bathroom.
We looked up stuff on the internet.

And when they told us it was closing time -

We in earnest began to come up with stuff for the script.

Needless to say - after much debating, sweating and a little inspiration -

We broke the back of the story.

We know the open - and know what the close is - and where it is going.

Now all we gotta do is come up with the rest - which is everything.

Oh yeah - check out Blair's blog - he actually posted!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sometimes you get the Bull....

And sometimes you get the horn....

I really don't feel as if I have been in this business long enough to see the ups and downs...

but I am....

Go figure.

I am still nobody - and have no right to say anything about anyone - but this is really kinda funny.

Three months ago - I related how the star that was attached to my film for two years had pulled out of the film two months away from shooting.

Two weeks ago, his agent calls me telling me that he wants back in.

Now this:

Not sure how many of you are long time readers... Ok - none of you... But if you go back a ways - you may remember a little story I told on here about a script I was asked to do a take on.

There was a director who wrote about 60 pages of the pretentious nonsense - and I told my agents it was horrible and I didn't want anything to do with it. His agent called me and begged me to talk to the director. I did - and got suckered into coming up with some ideas.

I gave my take to the director - and he told me he loved it - and wanted me to incorporate all of his ideas into mine.

I ignored him and he wrote me three months later to tell me what a jerk I was and how I shouldn't bother to come to Hollywood - seeing as how I would never make it there....

I actually saved his email to me and printed it here...

Here it is in all its simple glory:

"what´s up man. I guess you are not quite all the man they talked you
up to be.

Ii have now waited and wasted three months and I´m going to move on.

don´t come hollywood my friend--- it will not pay off in the long run."

Flash forward -

Yesterday - I get a giant email from the same director. He found out that I am going to be going out with the script.

Here is a small sampling:

I think your script is one of the best scripts I have EVER read: it's original,
unique, violent, hardcore characters and most of all told in a super exciting
way--- and these great elements are exactly why it's difficult for studios to
handle. It could be years if ever you'll get this script on the screen, but
it's different if they will just distribute it-- they are very open for that.

As you know with the studio development for your script could be torture. They
would probably take out or want to change everything that's great about it.
However, if we start making the film right now we could team up as partners and
since I'm bringing the actual cash we would have power to protect the script and
make it a movie that matters AND while in the process of doing this we can make
a deal with studios for distribution. This way you'll get the studio and you
will actually get the film that you want made.

I hope you consider this, because I LOVE the script and with my film pushed
for new casting I would have the money and the window of opportunity
right NOW to make the film. I can't wait, because I have my film waiting for
late spring. Also, I would have no problem making you a creative and a financial
partner when making it.


you get the point...

Life is really funny.

And perhaps the funniest part?

I'm still broke and barely employed....

But hey - I'm big in Japan....

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A Villain Problem

I'm having a bad guy issue.

Not who the bad guy is - but more what he does.

And how he is supposed to be at cross-purposes with my hero - who is really more of an anti-hero.

And how they both really want the same thing - but are approaching it from different angles...

Because right now - they are both sorta static.

Yeah, there are complications. Yeah, there are choices involving life or death. Yeah, there is a huge body count. Yeah, there are situations you can't believe someone is gonna get out of...

Believe that - cause that's how I roll.

But how the hero and his counterpart come into contact and conflict is somehow eluding me right now.

And I can't continue to just put an old boss of mine in every script as the bad guy. Truth is, he isn't so bad anymore - just sorta crazy - and so my rage levels when I write about him don't equate to good bad guys anymore...

I know I'm heading the right direction...

I gotta good guy who sees himself as bad

And a bad guy who sees himself as good...

Now I just gotta connect the dots....

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


And then they opened.


Feeling good.

My body is getting closer to adjusting to this schedule - and I actually got something done.

It was a long day yesterday - finishing up the last of the flooring - on my hands and knees all day working for the man - and I came home and did something that I should've.

I wrote.

For the past couple months - I've had my next thing brewing in my head. The pieces keeping going in like a big pot of soup - little more character development here, little more plot there, throw in a heavy dash of murder and chasing -

Presto! Story....

After talking with Ryan the other day - just started to feel better about things. Seeing as how this guy is just cranking hard - keeps me encouraged. Blair is supposed to be back - so getting together with him will help. David is here and I owe him a call. Really need to get back on the horse. Talking with the agents later this week...

But last night. Sorry. I was writing....

Something about getting the thoughts out and organizing them on the page helps. Just seeing them - where the holes are, what else needs to be filled.

I still just wish I could write a straight story. Everything I do has to be jumbled around so that the audience has to keep trying to keep up. But in doing so - I really have to have an idea where the story is going... Or I take you back around to a place you never knew you were going and feel lost...

I know where this is going - I just don't know the scene right before the end.

And that scene is where I start.

Confused yet?

Don't worry. It will get crazier.

But the rest of it... Well. Its flowing like water.

It feels nice to get wet...

PS - Bill doesn't believe in holidays. Or America. So there you go. I have to go to work.... Damn Commie bastard!

Monday, July 03, 2006


So after hearing about all the joys of working in the art department - my kids decided to get in on the action.


So back to clean up.

Had a very nice phone call with Ryan yesterday. First time we hooked up in a month. Since I left - he has written a whole script, plotted a second - and has a really good idea for a third.

Not really sure why he wants me to come back... :) He seems to be doing fine on his own.

One really nice thing is that after having a script of mine for about - I don't know... 4 or 5 months - he finally read it.

And he liked it. And believe me - Ryan doesn't like anything.

This script - one I wrote a little over a year ago - is a troubling beast.

I set out without a plan - and each day decided to write the coolest things I could think of - jam it all together and hope it comes out OK. It came out pretty good - but still needs work.

Problem is - everyone likes it. But it will most likely never get made.

So there you go. If I take that one - add it to my script that has two distinct halves - and then take my new idea... I have three things not ready for the world...

And this is the week we get ready for the attempted sale of my other script.

Life is funny.

But I can say this - nothing makes me want to get back to writing more than having to work.

So all I gotta do is break this story - and write the thing.

That's it...

As soon as I clean up the living room...

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Not Guilty

Listen - I swear it was worse than it sounds. And if you saw what that seal was wearing? She was asking for it.

Luckily - after the judge saw the way she blew on those horns and played with that piece of fish before eating it - I plea bargained and regardless of what the Inuit Times says - I am not a registered seal offender.

Instead I was sentenced to 50 hours of community service teaching screenwriting to Eskimos. Who knew?

One already has a logline on Inktip called "30 names for snow" about a Black Detective one week from retirement who partners with a goofy but sly Eskimo to solve the riddle of the spawning salmon.

Sam Jackson is in talks.

And here I sit.

I spent yesterday and today painting the backside of linoleum to look like there are big pieces of stone on them. We do this by stretching out the 12 x 30 sheets into the grass by the shop and then try to blend three colors of paint by hand with something like a hand swiffer.

The backside of the linoleum is white - and acts like a giant reflector. The surface is so hot - my knees are completely burnt. We are supposed to be blending three kinds of paint into each stone - but the paint dries almost before we can get it onto the scalding hot surface.

And my eyes still feel like I have been staring into a flash for two days...

Bill says - Well. The art department is hard!

And yes, it is. Kudos to you in the Art Department! But as for me and my soft writerly hands - I'll head back to producing and directing... :)


After talking with my agents - it was decided that we would go out to directors as well as producers.

This holiday weekend, the script is in the hands of four semi-well known directors.

One has done thrillers before - usually involving water - and is a pretty good director. I actually like his films.

One has done a couple big horror films - one of which I was really concerned that my film would be too much like - even though it was written way before - but once I saw it was no longer worried because his film kinda sucked - and then went on to make over a 100million and spawn two sequels... So what do I know?

One is a team - who did a foreign film that did really well - but I had never heard of or seen.

One did two films that I have seen. One was OK. The other sucked - but had a pretty hot scene in it with a certain new mom that I still have on metal tivo.

So not sure at all how I felt about this - but it seems to be beginning again.

No word from former STAR1's people again. But it's probably cause his agent can't get him on the phone....