Life Decisions

One of the best things about being completely broke and unemployed is that you get to spend a lot of time with your kids. You can't do anything - cause you're broke - but you get to spend a lot of time together.

It goes something like this.

Dad: Isn't this great? We get to spend time together.
Kid: Uh huh. What are we gonna do?
Dad: I don't know. What do you wanna do?
Kid: Can we watch TV?
Dad: No. No cable.
Kid: Can we go somewhere?
Dad: No. No gas.
Kid: There's nothing to do...
Dad: You ungrateful little snot. Go to your room!

I guess we could always be like that Far Side cartoon...

The days before television one? Where everyone just sits around and stares at the wall where the TV will one day be?

When you have kids - everyday is a new adventure in perspective. And if you take a long view of history - you get to sit back and the end of the day and think about which of today's decisions play a part in slowly screwing you kid up for life.

In the end - I have decided - it doesn't really matter if you were a good parent or a bad one - either way, your kid ends up blaming you for all the reasons his or her life didn't turn out the way they wanted.

We've had a little trauma at our house in the last week. My daughter is really talented. She is very small - too small for her age - but she is part Asian and her mom is tiny - so we are constantly telling people to back off with their racist ideologues and to shut the hell up - she'll grow when she is good and ready. We started her in school a bit young - but she was already reading so we bumped her a grade. She already curses me.

We knew what we were getting into from a young age. At three - repeat - three - she told my wife:

"I'll start doing what you say when you stop telling me what to do."

Trust me - the crying began early. Followed by the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Well - she took Tai Kwon Do for a year. Got a belt up - and quit. Then she did gymnastics for a class - got tired of that. Now she has just finished a year of piano. She is really good - and she has those really long fingers - kinda like ET? So she is really doing great...

But last week she got slammed with homework. And she has a few hallmarks of both parents - she can get overwhelmed and distracted... But usually she will come home with about an hour of work. Last week - she was doing a couple hours a night - and then having to do piano. So she decided she wanted out of piano.

Granted - the weather here is finally getting nice. And she got to hear the sounds of her brother running outside to play and yell with all the neighborhood kids - while she sat at the table doing her math. And then, by the time she did piano - it was dark. So that could play into it...

But you come to that place as a parent where you say:

Do I just let you quit - and forever regret that I set up and allowed a pattern where when things get rough you can just walk away from them and forget it?

or

Do I recognize that you are just going through a phase where you feel a bit of stress over everything going on in your life and it is best to let you sit back and regroup and maybe we can continue your lessons in the summer?

Tough choices.

But - to put things in perspective - let's talk about the other monster.

My son.

This kid is crazy. As boys tend to be.

But lately - he has become obsessed with the piano. As much as the girl is sick of it - he is in love with it. I don't play piano - but I love to sit down and pick out a song by ear - note by note. And he loves that too - except he is just way off...

A month ago - I taught him heart and soul. Now the kid jumps up during what would be a commercial if we had TV - and plays the song for three minutes straight - then goes right back to watching the wall.

He played the damn song so much - I had to teach him Twinkle Twinkle little star - or we would all go crazy with blood pouring out of our ears...

Now granted - this kid is smart too. He is a whiz at math. He is just learning how to read - and if you could give a degree in transformers - this kid is a PHD. And he just started begging us for piano lessons.

Now this kid can barely sit still for a sandwich - let alone a 30 minute lesson - and then 20 minutes of practice a day.

But it did seem to be an interesting way to solve a problem - even if it was a short term bandaid.

I broached the subject with said teacher at church on Sunday. She was very unhappy about my daughter taking a break - but pretty cool with my son filling in for a while... Now granted - I saw that slight twitching in her eye as I pointed him out - yeah, he is the one running through the church on top of the chairs - screaming at the top of his lungs "transformers... ROLL OUT" while chasing a little girl (Shawn's daughter...)

So while some of you might say I copped out - I like to think I just plugged a hole. Or exchanged one problem for another one.

Either way - the kid did great. He actually sat still for a whole 30 minutes - really excited about what he was learning. And when he came home? His sister stopped watching the wall and came over and helped him through his whole lesson - patiently and calmly - without even causing a fight.

Amazing.

I can almost forget for one second - watching them there playing the piano so nicely - that in 15 years they will both hate me and it will all be traced back to this moment.

Sigh. Brings a tear to my eye.