I've noticed a trend in how I work. And it might not be so different from many of you.

It seems to me that whenever I sit down to break a story - I find that no matter how hard I focus on that story - from waking up to going to bed that night - thinking it through - what happens, what is going on - who is involved - I find that I always do better coming up with stuff for the ideas on the back burner.

Inevitably - whatever I am most pressed with - whichever deadline is looming largest - I find myself almost paralyzed with brain freeze as if I have just sucked hard on the creative slurpy of inspiration and I become locked in ignorance.

But in the middle of that state of suspended animation - I suddenly realize how to solve all the problems of the other stories I have floating around in my skull. The ones I am not supposed to be thinking about or even dealing with. Those ideas suddenly jump to the forefront and come to life - fully realized movies - playing out like a summer blockbuster - with lines around the block.

It also seems that I have another one of DAVID's algebra equations - the more likely the idea is to pay me, the less likely I am to break the story. Or the inverse - the less likely the idea is to ever make money - the more brilliant stories I can come up with.

One simple solution to this problem: Have some really bad stupid Idea that I try to trick my brain into thinking is the one that I have no choice but to work on at all times - so that the really good ideas can come for the ones I really need work on. The problem is deciding which of my "takes" is the stupid one - because most of them seem that way.

An even simpler solution: Therapy.

I have at least four takes that I am supposed to be working on. And at the same time - I am trying to go back and finish the next draft of my last script. All the while I am in the middle of trying to "produce" this movie with the mini-major. And we have slowly depleted all financial resources... So I do find it hard to manage anxiety and concentrate on creativity. In high school, grad school and college - these were the times you could dig way down - find that one thing and perform - but its a little harder to do that over 120 pages.

One producer - a really nice lady who did one of the great serial killer movies - called me again yesterday. She called two weeks ago - asking where I was with the story. She had given me something back in November. It was a mess. I developed it into a really complex and interesting mess - and the studio agreed with me. It was still a mess. The producer came back to me and asked me to try again. But with everything else going on - I haven't even thought about it. So I'm screwing the pooch on that one.

My agents are pressing me for my take on the BIG PRODUCER'S script. It's coming - but this is the one I am working on - so everything else is doing better.

I am supposed to have a conference call with the other producers today on the JAPANESE story. They went off on a long search for the true life rights to the story I found - and finally came up with an author that is just starting to write a book about the case. But he is a couple years away from getting it done - so we talk about where to go from here.

I was pitching my BIG PRODUCER idea to Shawn last night - and somehow got around to talking about my JAPANESE idea - and it just came to life. I really think there is some great stuff there - so hopefully they will too. It will be interesting to see.

I saw this really great French film (can't believe I used those two words in a sentence next to each other "great" and "French") called the Beat that My Heart Skipped. It is a really fascinating film. But it is essentially about a Parisian thug who studied piano as a kid. He has a chance meeting with a famous manager of pianists who remembers him and wants to give him an audition. He is so excited - and goes to a Chinese lady to get him ready. He approached the piano like an animal - and she has to mold his talent to get him ready...

She had him do all these relaxing exercises... And I think that's what I need. Yoga - more exercise... Something. Otherwise it will be booze and pills.

I just need to get outside my head - so that I can go inside my head... oooohhh... Now I get it....

Sigh. Cause the truth is - if I can clear out all the crap inside my brain - I think the lost dog of inspiration that I'm looking for has been up my ass all along.