Money money money money....money!

Like taking candy from a baby....

SECRETS OF FUNDRAISING - Part one.

FLASHBACK:

Three years ago.

Hard to say what was the true reality - that I quit or I was let go - you say tomato I say tomato...But either way - it was decided that I would part ways with Discovery for a season.

I brushed off 40 pages of a script I started and abandoned - and went to work with a friend and slayed the dragon. Three drafts later - Script done. But almost broke.

Took off to Connecticut to produce and direct a home improvement show. That lasted a very very short time. And at this point - I decided to make a break.

I knew this script could be the one. Sure it was edgy offensive and dark - but at the right price - it could break out. So I bought some dubious business plan software and put together an investment memo on the project. With my partner Shawn - we budgeted out the film for 2 million dollars. I met with a lawyer who made me put all sorts of disclaimers all over the thing.

Things like:

Abandon hope, all ye who invest here.
If you wanna put money in film, I have a bridge to sell you.
If you still wanna invest - please provide statement of sanity from doctor.

So we had the script, the budget, and the memo. We were ready to go.

And it was then I learned the first rule of raising money.

YOU MUST ASK PEOPLE....Wait for it... Here it comes.... WHO HAVE MONEY

Wow. Seems simple now. And not just people with money. But people who have a lot of money. Money that they don't care if they throw it at really crazy things - like movies.

My sister was married to a guy from a very little town in Indiana. Now this town - has way more than its share of filthy rich people. Her husband runs a restaurant in said town and knows these guys. He offered them a free meal to sit with his brother in law and listen to his crazy schemes.

So Shawn and I headed to Indiana. And our pitch went something like this:

This is our movie. You will not like this movie. You would probably never ever go to see this movie. This movie has stuff in it that would make you angry. That would gross you out. That probably should never be filmed. But... there is an audience out there for this stuff. And there is a one in a million chance that this might find that audience. I can't promise you that we will get in theaters. I can't promise you we will even get into blockbuster - but I can promise at the very least - you will - and the end of the day - have a DVD that you can put in your machine and tell your friends to gather round and see how you wasted a ton of cash on a crappy film.

See? I can already feel you pulling out your wallets in response to that brilliant pitch.

NOW SIT BACK AND COUNT THE CASH.

While you may be laughing - thinking what idiots we are - I'm telling you. This is gold, Jerry... Gold!

We raised a million dollars this way.

Who's laughing now, monkey boy?