On the Mend...

Ugh... I hate being sick...

Don't know what I had - some sort of 24 hour strand of ebola. Lots of blood out of all openings in the body...Pain everywhere...And lots to clean up. But today - even though it is grey and cloudy - the sun of returning health has come out - and I am feeling towards the better...Here's hoping it continues and I am back to my ever whiney self in no time.

There is something about going through a really bad patch and making it to the other side. Yesterday - when I was moaning and groaning about my bleeding eyes - I thought it was almost over. Today - suddenly I feel like Snow White - singing with the birds as they alight on my shoulder.

I can remember how excited I was to go to China the first couple times for Discovery - and after spending two weeks traveling by myself - how happy I was to come back and kiss the ground of good old American soil.

When I was flying back and forth to Virginia for weeks at a time - I was going crazy for missing my family - and when I got here, there was no better feeling than seeing the kids run across the yard screaming "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy....

What did you bring me?"

Writing is much of the same.

When you are in the middle of your script - I think there is no time worse than the second act - no time greater than the third act. It is easy to start - hard to maintain - nice to limp to the finish.

There is no quantifiable way to know if what you do is good or not. Your peers can tell you what they think, your agents can tell you what they think - but truthfully - it seems the only way Hollywood thinks something is good is if A) They paid for you to write it... And even if they think its good - they pay someone to rewrite you... Or B) a STAR attaches himself to your script.

A caveat to that is when you have already written a hit. Charlie Kauffman can write crazier and crazier scripts - because he has been declared a genius - rightfully so - but he won't have to worry about his next meal again. It has to be good - he wrote Being John Malkovitch...

So one of the really scary truths of this business is:

Your first script has to be better than Charlie Kauffman's next script.

For someone to take a chance on a complete unknown - with no proven track record (and that includes 15 years in TV - because for some reason that doesn't count) - your material has to be superior. It has to pass through all the channels and make its way to the top. Because everyone out there has a red pen and a million reasons why your script is gonna suck...

Charlie has already made it. But you (me) have not. So it's gotta be better - stronger - faster...

Sobering thought.

I heard this quote from Robert Zemekis:

"If it were easy to get in the club (making it in Hollywood) then everyone would be in the club. But once you're in the club - no one can kick you out."

It's like getting into a fraternity. Hollywood's way of hazing is to hold out the promise of the big payday and future paydays - but, unless you are a genius - and even Charlie Kauffman toiled in obscurity for years - you are gonna have to pay for entrance to the club with blood sweat and tears. (exceptions being son or daughter of studio head or big actor)

So - in the end - we keep writing. Because we hope and pray that something, someday will stick. The great thing about scriptwriting is that each time you do it - you get better. It is a strict discipline that forces you to mold yourself to its forms - and if you bring some creativity and originality to its shape - you are well on your way.

And if there is any comfort - most scripts are crap. So while everyone tells you to be excellent - the truth is like the old saying - you don't have to be faster than the bear - you just have to be faster than the slowest camper.

And that is a goal I can relate to: I don't have to be excellent - I just have to be better than 90% of the crap that idiots are flooding the system with.

So there you go. See? I must be feeling better - cause I'm back to my old self-righteous, self deluded, whining self... :)

Tomorrow: deep into Thailand's red light district....