Must... Stop....

Deja Vu.

This is a great week. Full of conference calls. Full of things I don't need to be doing. Full of people second guessing what we did.

It's all in the name of what can we do so that next time things won't be the same.

But really its all about covering ass.

When we returned from China in 99 - we had just finished the first co-production ever for a dramatic Chinese TV series. It took everything out of us and we came back looking like we were POW's - all long hair and nail and 20 pounds lighter than when we left.

Shawn and I went into a meeting and it started right in.

Not - hey, great job. Not - wow, you guys really killed yourselves. You must be tired.

Just this.

Why?

How come....?

Why didn't you....?

And now here - 8 years later - the same noise.

They say its so things can get better in the future - but that's not usually it. It's more about why did you make bad decisions.

I'm still beat up. I'm tired. And really - I shouldn't be on a call with anyone. When I don't say anything - they say I need to speak up. When I speak up - they say I sound a little too sensitive.

Exhausting.

But I am so looking forward to the seven person conference call tomorrow night. Can't wait for that round robin of abuse.

So there's that to look forward to...

Nevertheless - we press on. Whining and kicking and getting emo....

But we press on.

I need more sleep....