Mistake Learning, Part Two

Hungry? Before I try it - let me take my foot outta my mouth....

QUICK RESPONSE:

Thank you for the fury unleashed by everyone yesterday. It was very supportive and cathartic to read others outraged at the slow turning of the screw. But it's all good. We only invested two years in that punk... It's gonna be a very interesting week to see how this effects everything... But I doubt it makes people jump up and down. Everyone loves my script when I have talent attached. We will see what happens without talent... (of course - my entire career has been based on no talent... So it really is just a continuation...)

BACK TO THE STORY:

If you remember from two days ago - before I jumped off the building yesterday - I was asked to do a take on a really mediocre treatment written by an up and coming director. Three months later - he had finally read my script and seemed genuinely excited for me to jump in and go to work. Worse yet, one of my producers was a friend of his and said this guy is gonna be huge - so how cool is it that you guys are working together on this?

(NOTE: as my wife read part one of this story - she had a frown on her face. She doesn't think things like this need to go out on the web. A journal or diary is private and ranting and raving about real people who one day may read this could really come back and slap you in the ass.

It did give me pause... But how could I not finish the story? It's a story, after all? And besides - the point of this story is MY mistakes... And how you can learn not to be a silly little twit like me... But, for my wife - if you are one of the parties involved - I'm sure that your side of the story is very different and interesting and if you would ever like a place to publish stories about why I am a liar and an idiot - feel free to visit my wife's blog - where she has stories up every day about me: Her blog is

WWW.mystupidhusbandthinksheisawriterandblewalloursavingsonhispipedreams.blogspot.com

She would love to take a day off from her ramblings to have someone else point out my folly for the world.

Now back to the story.)

So, now - not only do I have to come up with something for the writer - the producer - who is a wonderful person - is also going to be checking in on my progress. So this becomes a little more vested.

I rack my brain on this take - rereading the treatment - researching stuff on the net - reading anything I can get my hands on... And I keep coming up empty.

One day, I am in the shower - and I get a brilliant idea. It has nothing at all to do with his story - except for the fact that it takes place in the same world. But it is golden. I don't ever have great ideas - but this one was gold, jerry... It's gold...

So I do some minor tweaks - and have a take. Very very broad strokes - but it was the kind of pitch I never do - very broad - but the strength of the piece was in its ending...A big knock out punch of an ending.

So the day comes - and I am ready. Director calls me from Europe where he is doing a big Music Video and I jump in. I am firing on all pistons. And I can tell he is really getting into it. It is a great pitch... And as I tell the story - it gets even better. He asks a couple questions - but I can tell - he knows that this is the one. This is a great story...

But by the end - he wraps up with something like this:

Greg. I love it. This is brilliant. You have done great. Now - just go back and take all the stuff from my treatment and put it in your story.

And I am like... uh...

Well. I did it this way because it is a different story. It has the same world as your story - but it is not your story. This is my story...

And he is like-

Yeah. So make it my story - with your touches.

And I'm making little gasping, coughing, whining sounds like a deflating balloon...

But this is a different story...

And he says-

Yeah. Well. Put my stuff back and call me.

Click.

Now anyone in their right mind would think: Well. Either I put the two versions together and make one thing out of it - or - I tell him that I can't do it.

And in my mind - I know there is no way I will have anything to do with meshing my genius idea with his treatment. So all I have to do is tell him I can't do it, right?

So what do I do?

I call my producer friend and ask for advice. I tell her the situation. I tell her that I love my idea - but it has nothing to do with his idea...And I want out. She encourages me and tells me that it is all good. That the idea is completely different - and all I have to do is tell him that I don't think the two ideas go together.

So it is simple, right?

Just call and tell him. Even better - email him.

SIDETRIP:

I was born in - and spent my early formative years - in the Midwest. From there - I spent Junior High and High School in Asia. I did college in the Midwest - and then went to grad school in Virginia and stayed there for 15 years.

ONE THING IN COMMON WITH ALL THOSE PLACES:

We don't believe in bad news. We don't do confrontation. We don't like to tell people the truth if it is going to be painful.

So we usually do something else.

We lie.

Or - we avoid the truth.

BACK TO THE STORY:

So I decided to create my own reality. One where the director didn't exist and I was happy to not be bothered by his existence. So I never called or wrote - I simply went on with life as if I owed him nothing.

And this is where you can learn from me. Because - no matter how much I wanted to pretend that he was not there - I am not the Scarlet Witch and I cannot undo the strings of reality to make said director disappear...

But it seemed as if the director wanted to pretend that I didn't exist either...And we went three months without talking. No calls, no emails... Nothing...But then I realized the big difference between the two of us.

While I was avoiding him - he was doing something productive: Working.

And then - a month ago - I get an email.

Greg: How is it coming?

And I go back to my happy place - la la la... There was no email. I shall pretend my happy life exists without that email. I am a genius and my wife loves me and I can last in bed for hours and hours... And I have a full head of hair... And a 6 pack.. And...

Sigh.

What an idiot.

All you have to do is answer. All you have to do is tell the truth. But I was in the middle of the BIG MOVIE DEAL and everything looked like we were going into pre-production any day...(WOW - hindsight is a bitch) so I continued to live in ignorant bliss - pretending that if I ignored him, he might go away...

But he didn't.

And even though - in my defense - If this project was really important - I would have been on top of that writer 24/7 - calling and writing to make sure things were coming together - not waiting three months and sending one email...

I wouldn't have let the guy ignore me if this was supposed to be my next big film.

I wouldn't have let his awkward Midwestern ways get in the way of me getting my free script...

And if I have learned anything from this - it is that you have to say what you think. It would have been easy to tell this guy - this is not the script for me. I think we are seeing this two different ways - and I don't think I will do your vision justice.

See how easy that was?

But I wanted to be nice. I wanted to stay friends... Cause he might be the next Spielberg... And instead I got him to write me this:

Greg.

what´s up man. I guess you are not quite all the man MY PRODUCER talked you
up to be.

I have now waited and wasted three months and I´m going to move on.

Don´t come to Hollywood my friend--- it will not pay off in the long run.


So there you go: my first "you'll never make it in this town" email.

I'm sure it won't be my last.

But I'm still here, still swinging - and more than willing to share my folly so others can learn from my nonsense.

Interesting week coming up: We find out what the fall out will be after we lose our star, see if we will be dropped by the mini-major, and -

in my one hope for redemption -

I have a pitch with the BIG PRODUCER on Wednesday.

So lots more lessons to be learned, I am afraid...

Till then - I'm stocking up on fish assholes - cause you never know when there will be a shortage....