I believe I can fly

I'm feeling very Tony Robbins today - and whenever I do - I pull out the wings and go for a little flight... To right the wrongs in the world.

There are a million ways to look at the world. And as I love to harp on the same things over and over - a lot depends on your perspective.

Some people like to face reality - and see their depressed miserable lives for what they are - depressed miserable lives. And others like to pretend that their depressed miserable lives are really peachy keen hunky dory. And that is what makes us to fascinating.

I like to think of Nick Cage and Holly Hunter, sitting on lawn chairs in front of their trailer in the middle of the desert in Raising Arizona. Nick has that silver thing gathering the sun under his face - and he talks in voice over about how these are the SALAD DAYS.

It can't get any better.

Perspective.

So there are always at least two ways to look at things. Some people might say that staying home and writing while you drive your family into bankruptcy is foolish. Others would look at this time of being with your kids and wife and hanging out on a daily basis as building a firm family foundation...

Who are we to judge?

On Saturday - after I got my breath back after being mule kicked in the nuts from the news of STAR1's departure, I sat in shock. I just kept thinking about how this project has been idling for three years because of his schedule - because of promises from his agent and manager and lawyer... And I thought - wow. I bet my life on this guy - and it's all crashing down.

So I took my dog and my son on a walk.

We walked over to where a new house is being built across the street. My son climbed the mountains of dirt while the dog and I explored the weeds. We climbed down into the pit around the foundation of the basement - and walked the narrow trough of space around the walls - getting tar all over us. My son was so happy and excited to discover pieces of broken cement and bent nails and to get out on such a beautiful day.

And all I was thinking about was - WE'RE DOOMED.

But after a bit of crying in my heart - and worry - and paranoia - I decided that I would not let this define me.

And here is my Tony Robbins moment.

In some ways we can choose who we are. I could chose to be the poor victim of a cruel and senseless "Hollywood" who happen to chose a moment to crap on me when I was at my lowest point - or I can chose that I'll be someone else.

It doesn't change the reality of the moment - I still got crapped on - but it does take the power away from their ability to make me feel bad. In truth - I had other offers for this script. In truth, one of my producers feels as if we are dropped, she will find the money and we will do it a different way. In truth, we might not get dropped at all - we might just go out to someone else.

In truth - I am not a bad person because STAR1 is an ass.

I am a bad person for a myriad of other reasons unrelated to writing and Hollywood all together... :)

So all that said - The truth is - this movie will get made. It just won't get made when I want it to get made. And I will continue to write - but I will also get a job and quit bitching about having no money.

And life will go on... And on... And on...

But I tell you what - If I nail that story tomorrow and actually get hired to write the BIG PRODUCER'S script -

Drinks are on the house...