I had a dream...

I mean, a deram. A draem. A... whatever...

There have been countless odes to the grass on the other side of the hill and what it looks, smells, feels and tastes like. We all assume that it must be the most beautiful, fragrant, lusciously deliscious grass in the whole world.

Know what?

Sometimes it is.

Growing up - I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up - but I sure knew I wanted it to be fun. I knew I wanted to be creative. Once I discovered film - I knew where I was meant to be.

One thing led to another - and a mix of blessing and luck - and I got to do a lot of really great projects. For 17 years - with a wife and two kids - I've made a very fine living off the scraps from better filmmakers tables.

But I know it can all crash.

Like when my Big Film all fell apart last year. We were sitting on a $10 million green light - and watched it go up in a puff of smoke.

So it helps to have a really healthy attitude.

But that's always more difficult that it seems.

One thing I can't stand is pretentious people and this business is built on the most insecure confidence that man can project. Ego drives the boat for most of them.

I know the truth.

The Director and Producer can be the biggest idiots on the set - and more often than not they are. Everyone else has a very specific job that requires a lot of techinical expertise. The director and producer can literally coast on the combined experience of their underlings and look brilliant.

Usually we just try to get in there and muck it up for everyone around us.

I like to try the humbler approach.

One commercial we were doing for a big superstation out of New York. It was a really cool spot in Black and White - all beautiful images - and everything was shot on Big Masters off a moving Jimmy Jib - which is a big crane.

We had the crane coming in from DC - and we had a bit of an issue. The guy that usually came with the jib was on a big shoot and couldn't come. They assured me that they were sending down someone who knew what he was doing - and the jib was on its way.

Now a bit about me. I don't dress up. I don't play the part of director - baseball cap, notebook, viewfinder, sunglasses... whatever.

This was summer - a hot day. That's shorts and a T-shirt for me.

The jib guy rolls in with his truck - and everyone is busy lighting the first set up. So I go over - tell him my name - and ask if he has the jib.

He opens up the truck - and the two of us start unloading the thing.

He says to me:

Dude. I'm so nervous. Do you know how to put this together?

I go - What?

Dude. The guy that does this thing is gone. They gave me directions off the internet. I don't know if I can do it?

I just smile and keep unloading. Lucky we had a guy who knew how it went together.

That guy just hung his jaw all slack when he found out I was the director.

Another time - after I paid dues for a couple years gripping and art directing - I was starting to get a lot of bigger commercials. I was directing a Domino's spot.

I called up a lady that did wardrobe in our area for a long time that I had worked with.

I asked her is she wanted to work on the shoot. Of course she did. Then she asked me if I was P.A.-ing the shoot. I told her I was directing.

Wow. She said. I guess you hang around long enough - anybody gets to direct.

Then she pauses a sec - and goes: No offense.

None taken.

Tomorrow - I'm producing a two day $200,000 shoot.

I'm starting the day by getting in a 15 passenger van and picking up all the talent and driving them to set. All the skills of a PA pay off again and again.

But you know what?

I love it.

Its the best freaking job in the world. So come on in. The grass is great.

Leave your ego at the door.